Eenie, meanie, minie, moe...

Catch a puppy by the toe...

Fowl News

Mr. P. has already suffered a ridiculous number of tick bites this year despite wearing long pants or coveralls when working in the garden or the yard. Insects must find his flesh especially sweet, and his flesh finds the bites especially irritating, resulting in huge, red, swollen, extremely itchy wounds. He thought about blasting the daylights out of our property using the most powerful insecticide he could find (and since he's state certified for the application of that kind of stuff, I'm sure he could get the really strong stuff), but a coworker suggested a more environmentally-friendly approach.... BANTAM ROOSTERS (a.k.a "Banties"). We'll start with a few males (much like the human species, they're less expensive than hens) and a small pen, and let them eat insects to their hearts' delight, with occasional vacations in the fenced-in garden for special treats like grubs. This pen will be adjacent to the dogs' outdoor condo. Do you see any potential for problems in that? I do. I foresee an early morning cock-a-doodle-do that incites the Dunderheads to a howling choir practice. The other risk is that the Banties could become victims of hawks and other birds of prey, of which we have plenty here. Which could be hard to bear since within 24 hours of their arrival, every rooster will have a name, a personality, a list of likes and dislikes, and his own cell-phone and Facebook page.

I got your back, buddy