Can we come in now?

They're outside.

I'm inside.

A glass door (perpetually smeared with nose-prints) separates us, but the message is clear:

Grammy, can we come in now? We don't want to play outside any more. Please let us in. Pretty please? We'll be good, promise!

Sincere

When you look up the word "sincere" in the dictionary, this is the picture you'll see.

Berry is telling me: I can help you cook. I'm really good at it. Why is the cabinet door open? I don't know. No, it's just coincidence, honest. Hey, don't get all upset about it. There was just pots and pans in there. Why don't you keep food down here at my nose level? Can you tell me that?

Another vicious pit bull attack

Is this a scary face, or what?

Not.

This is the face of our beloved pit bull, Peach Pit. She was not the sharpest knife in the drawer, but so sweet, and completely intimidated by our cats.

Such a good girl. We miss you, Peaches! We hope you and Buster and Bessy are having fun in heaven.

BFF's

Polly: Patch, will you be my best friend forever ?

Patch: Forever and ever.

Polly: And play with me every day?

Patch: Twice a day! Three times a day!

Polly: And we'll tell each other all our secrets?

Patch: Well, maybe...

Polly: So, who's the daddy of those puppies?

Patch: I'm not sayin'.

Polly: Oh, c'mon, you can tell me!

Patch: My lips are sealed

Polly: Pretty please?

Patch: Nope.

Polly: Some friend you are.

(Polly hops off the chair and onto my lap. Patch lies down, closes her eyes, and sighs.)

The Loafers

Mr. P. calls our dogs "The Loafers" because they spend so much time loafing. Another way of saying they're lazy bums. They do bear some resemblance to other loafers and loaves, though...

Entry/Exit rules for dogs

Not counting windows, there are 4 points of entry/exit to our house. I won't say what or where they are (and if you're thinking of tracking me down and breaking in here, good luck running the gauntlet of dogs), just that 2 of those locations are accessible to the 5 outside dogs. Months ago, Mr. P. announced that we should only let the dogs in and out at Point A, never Point B or C. I honestly don't remember why - there may have been a good reason, but I forgot it.

Every time I have broken this rule, he has chided me, "I thought we agreed that the dogs would only go in and out of (Point A)." To which I usually reply, "And how am I supposed to control 270 lbs of dog when they're flinging themselves at (Point B)?" Then we talk about the benefits of consistent training, etc. etc.

The other day when it was pouring rain outside, all 7 dogs were inside and I had to get 4 of them out of the house so that I could take 1 of them to the vet and leave Polly & Georgie inside. Cruel to send them out into the rain, but they can take shelter in their house or in a covered walkway. I did my best to drive the herd out of Point A, but they weren't having it. So I flung some popcorn out of Point B (forbidden, but more sheltered), and off they went.

For some reason I felt the need to confess this to Mr. P. later that evening. He conceded that I did the right thing in the circumstances, and revised the Entry/Exit rule as follows: It is OK for the dogs to go out at Point B, but not to come in at Point B.

I said, "How are they supposed to understand why it's OK to go out there but not come in?" And got another lecture about consistent training.

According to something called Cuvier's fraction, the ratio of brain weight (E) to body weight (S) in some well-known critters is:

E/S

Human 1/40

Cat 1/100

Dog 1/125

Frog 1/172

Dog intelligence advocates will tell you that dogs are very smart despite their 2-ounce brain size (smarter than a frog, anyway). But I want you to tell me how my dogs are supposed to understand Mr. P.'s Entry/Exit rules with brains 1/3 the size of mine if I can't understand those rules?

The 3rd installment from Fritz & Ziggy

Fritz & Ziggy:
We want to warn you about all the cats that live around here. We do our best to chase them away, but they keep coming back. You have to be really careful because they have really sharp claws and boy, are they fast! They aren't good for much cause all they do is lay around the house when they're not hissing at us, but when they run they sure are fun to chase! You should see Harley when we chase him across the yard! He jumps all the way up on top of the fence and then just sits there looking at us! We think it's really unfair that they can jump higher than we can. The last time Ziggy jumped onto the dining room table he got in trouble!

Jean:
My dogs enjoy chasing cats too. Smoky used to jump up on a fence post to get away, but now the puppies are big enough to reach the top of the post. The other day, the puppies got Smoky cornered and Mr. P. had to rescue him. I think the puppies were just playing, but Mr. P. was extremely cross with them over that. We didn't see Smoky for several hours after that. I think he was hiding under the tractor.