Muffin Speaks

When I was in Seattle, I had the pleasure of meeting Lisa's canine nieces, Abby (a white Scottish terrier) and Muffin (a Yorkie-Shitzu-Maltese mutt), pictured above. They are as rambunctious as my dogs, but easier to handle because they're so much smaller.

Although Muffin moves almost continuously, she did stop long enough for an interview.

What's your full name? Ragamuffin…."Muffin” for short. My Auntie Lisa calls me Phyllis Diller (because of my hair style), but I try not to take offense.
How old are you? Hmm. Is that a trick question? Let me “pant” about it for a minute. I heard my human tell someone I was 16 months old…but I think I'm a teenager.
Who's your best friend? Abby, Abby, Abby! I love my sister Abby. We work as a team. We tear up shoes...and magazines…and whatever books are laying around…even sweater sleeves on the low rack in the closet. We have so much fun together. I can trust Abby to dig holes under fences…just big enough for ME to escape. She’s a big butt girl (a whopping 14 lbs), so I have a “slight” advantage at only 6 lbs. She says she’s just big-boned. She barks with a Scottish brogue…very high pitched. We love harmonizing when our human is trying to sleep.
Who's your worst enemy? Matlock the Ragdoll Cat. I could just chew her matted fur to pieces. She always manages to stay just out of leash range. She never brushes her fur. She is full of mats in the winter and actually has to have a shave in the summer. How embarrassing for our family. She does NOT represent the “style” of the other ladies in our household.
What's your favorite food? Matlock’s cat food rocks…especially since she hates sharing. I also have a proclivity for chicken breast…no seasoning please. The only food I truly hate is dog food of any kind. YUCK! My favorites are popsicles, pudding, ice cream, and whipping cream.
What's your favorite toy? My favorite toy is anything Abby wants.
What's your favorite time of day? My favorite time of day is when my human gets home! Oh, yeah. Oh, bliss. Oh, joy. I’ve got the wiggles just thinking about it! Oh, get the leashes! It’s walkin’ time.
Can you do tricks? Where do I begin? I can get my human to pick me up whenever I want. I can make Abby bark her head off. I can annoy my human’s son until he yells out loud—his bark is worse than his bite. I can make my cousin Fritz pout and crawl on Aunt Lisa’s lap. I can hide my grooming brush. I know the best hiding spots when it’s time to take a bath. I can make my grandma wrinkle up her nose when she smells me. I can crawl under the covers and lick my human’s feet to wake her up, when she sleeps too long. There really is no end to my talents.
What's your motto in life? Celebrate good times…come on! It’s a celebration. I get the wiggles over absolutely everything. I’m a happy-go-lucky party girl. I’m a good time waiting to happen. There’s no business like show-off business.
How do you feel about baths? No comment! I only like them when Abby has to take one.
How many hours a day do you sleep? I hate those math questions. Let’s see. I wake up with my human. Then I take a nap. I wake up with my human’s son. Then I take a nap. I wake up to go potty on the pad. Then I go to sleep. I wake up when my human comes home. We go for a walk. Then I take a nap. I wake up for my favorite TV shows. Then I sleep under the covers with my human for a while. Then it is my job to wake up and bark at the raccoons on the back patio at night…wake up and bark at any other noise or sound…wake up and bark at passing cars…wake up and bark at lights that go on…wake up and bark if my human’s son comes home…well…you get the picture. I’m a night doggie. What do you expect when I sleep most of the day? I have to keep my human safe, after all.
What are you afraid of? Nothing I would admit to. However, even the prospect of a bath makes me crazy…any water drops, splashes, sprinklers, shower sounds.
Who do you love the most? My human mommy. She spoils me to death and I love it. I can’t imagine where my human would be without me…a lonely old maid I’m sure. It’s a good thing she has me!