Caught in the act

My trip to and from the Northeast was wonderful, and I was never dogless for long. For some reason, all of my friends and family are animal lovers. I wonder how that happened.

Yesterday, however, I received notice from authorities in New Hampshire that I'm being charged with contributing to the nutritional delinquency of a dog. They have photographic evidence of the crime:

In my defense, I will mention the following facts:

1. At home, I never feed dogs people food unless it's something that falls on the kitchen floor and they get to it before I do.

2. But I admit that I lost my head while in someone else's house in NH, possibly because I'd had a few sips of wine.

3. Please be aware that my act was intended as therapeutic because Chelsea, my so-called victim, was moping and clearly in need of some TLC.

4. And finally, my so-called victim is a mistress of manipulation.