In October 2009, I finally got a new pair of eyeglasses, with really nice frames and gradient bifocal lenses, for $320. The old ones were so bad, I could see better without them than with them. I just love my new glasses. When not wearing them, I usually stash them in an eyeglass case in my purse, safe behind the bedroom door, but one day I foolishly left them on the middle of the kitchen table. Also on the kitchen table that day: two baskets of prescription medication & vitamins (one for me, one for Mr. P.), a lazy Susan with salt, pepper, hot sauce, Molly McButter, and other necessities, 6 magazines, the grocery list, 2 placemats, 2 napkins, 1 pen, and 1 coaster. The value of the "also" items was altogether maybe half the value of the glasses. If you were a dog, which item would you choose? How about a magazine that you could shred into a zillion tiny pieces? Naw, that's no fun any more. How about a ballpoint pen, nice and crunchy, with a tasty filling of blue ink to stain the furniture? Naw, that's no challenge at all.
No, what Jinx chose was my eyeglasses. I heard a crunching noise and raced into the living room, but it was too late. Most of the (plastic) lenses had gone down his gullet and the frames were beyond rescue.
Today I picked up my replacement glasses, for another $320 ("My dog ate them" is not a sob story that earns a discount at Union City Eye Care).
One of my coworkers asked what became of my glasses and when I explained, she said, "Your husband is going to kill that dog." So true. And that's why I'm asking you not to tell Mr. P. If anybody kills Jinx over this incident, it's going to be ME.
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