It's Pageant Season here. Every weekend brings another community event, county fair, corn festival, soybean festival, hog calling festival, you name it, and every event brings flocks of little girls (and boys) with fancy dresses and anxious stage mothers to the stages and sidewalks of west Tennessee.
Although our own Miss Meg is a world-renowned beauty of inimitable charm, she refused to get out of bed this morning for her pre-pageant toilette.
Jean: Meg, I thought you were excited about this pageant. Don't you want to wear that beautiful new pink dress I bought you in the Girls' Plus department at JC Penney?
Meg: That dress makes me look fat.
Jean: Meg, a burlap bap would make you look fat. You are fat.
Meg: But everyone will laugh at me.
Jean: They're laughing with you, darling, not at you.
Meg: No they're not. And Teddy said the pink dress makes my butt look like the back end of a bus.
Jean: He's just jealous, Meg. I caught him trying on that dress in the bathroom yesterday.
Meg: I don't care, I'm not wearing it, and that's final.