In my 30+ year work experience, I have many times had to deal with internal auditors or accountants or financial experts whose appearance in my office sent a flaming spear of dread into my heart. As far as I know, none of those number-crunchers ever found anything bad enough to send me to prison (or the unemployment line). But I will always remember a very straight-laced but devilishly funny accountant named Scotty who would say, "Don't panic. We're from the Accounting Department, and we're here to help you."
A few days ago, I glanced into the kitchen and saw a gang of dogs supervising Mr. P. as he made his lunch, and I could vividly hear Scotty saying, "We're here to help you."