Saturday, July 18, 2009

News from the west


Fritz and Ziggy, the 9 Dogs west coast correspondents, are on a much-needed summer vacation, but they kindly took the time to check in the other day. I will share their lengthy report in several posts.

F&Z: Today it's summer. It's hot too, 85 degrees! We were going to run through the sprinkler but we are afraid of it, so instead we are laying in the shade where the grass is cool. Did you know that if you lay on your tummy with your hind legs stretched straight out behind you, it feels really good? Do you ever do that when you're hot?

Jean: You know, it's probably been 54 years since I lay naked in the grass with my bare tummy on the cool ground. I may just have to try that again. It might give Mr. P. a heart attack if I did, but he would die happy.

F&Z: Yesterday while our mom was talking to our neighbor on the front porch we got out the door and ran and ran and ran! We think it's hysterical when our mommy chases us down the street yelling, "Fritz, Ziggy, come!" We never listen but sometimes Ziggy gets scared and goes back to Mommy. Not Fritz though. Mom says he's a naughty runner, but she always comes to get him and then carries him all the way back to the house. It's a fun game! When you come to visit, if you let us out the front door, we will play it with you!

Jean: Don't get your hopes up for me to let you scoot out the front door for a little run while I'm there. I'm wise to almost every canine trick in that respect. I guarantee I will not fall for the old, "Danger! Danger! The entire 2009 graduating class of 2000 of the Acme Mail Carriers College just arrived in our front yard!" line. I don't care if every mail carrier in the United States, active and retired, shows up at your house, every one of them wearing those dorky shorts… you're not going out. And remember, I have a lot of practice at keeping seven dogs from bursting out every time the Schwan's guy comes to the door (which is far, far too often). I know you doggies love to watch your moms run and shout and wave their hands, but it is not nearly as much fun for us as it is for you. Sure, your mom would be sad if you got hit by a car and killed, but remember, I have at least five spare dogs who would be happy to take your place any time. As my old Woolco Department Store boss, Ray, used to say, "You want a raise? Sure, here's a dime, and don't forget to turn in your locker key. The next girl will need it, and I'm gonna be paying her 25 cents an hour less than I pay you."

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