Wednesday, June 10, 2009

And now for a word from Ziggy

Ziggy was a more challenging interview subject than Fritz. Let's just say that it's clear who the wise guy in the family is.

What's your full name? Ziggy. It’s the same whether I’m full or hungry.
How old are you? Why do you want to know? How old do I look?
Who's your best friend? Man.
Who's your worst enemy? Everyone on the outside of our car or behind the fence in our backyard!
What's your favorite food? Doesn’t matter. I don’t chew or taste it anyway. But, if I had to pick, I’d say that pine flavored, crunchy stuff you get in the box where the cats sit, up in the laundry room. It gets a particularly funny reaction from my mom and dad when I eat it!
What's your favorite toy? My brother Fritz. I like to play with his mind. He’s so gullible! I take his chewy every time he’s not paying attention and he always fall for it!
What's your favorite time of day? Duh, dogs don’t wear watches! Waddaya think I do, consult a sun dial?
Can you do tricks? I wanted to be a male prostitute, but my Mom wouldn’t let me. But, I can open the back door from outside.
What's your motto in life? Act tough! Run fast!
How do you feel about baths? Where’d you come up with these questions? How would you feel about a bath if you were lead there on a leash around your neck, conned into thinking you’re going to Pet Smart to pick up chicks but are then dragged into a noisy room filled with strange dogs where they proceed to take you away from your humans and lock you in the torture chamber in the back, where they pluck your ear hairs, squeeze your butt glands, hose you down, force you through a wind tunnel and spray you with enough perfume to choke a cow only to put you on public display while they shave your butt, give you something they call a “skirt”, yank on your beard and top off the whole experience off by making you wear some gay bandana!?
How many hours a day do you sleep? How would I know? I’m asleep.
What are you afraid of? Me afraid? HaHaHaHaHaHaHa!
Who do you love the most? My Mommy.

1 comment:

Lisa O. said...

Yep! That look says it all!